Ask and Thou Shall Receive Sarcasm

If there’s one thing about me that will never change, it’s that if a person who knows me asks me a fairly obvious question, I will give that person a sarcastic answer.  Unless that person is a prof and my marks depend on their leniency.

For example, this morning my friend asked me what I was going to do today, and naturally I replied “breathing, mostly.  I’ll try not to die today as well.”  I mean seriously, ask and thou shall receive sarcasm.

In one of my prelabs for Analytical Chemistry 1, we were supposed to list “uncommon REAGENT hazards” but we were just working with water, so I just put “there are no uncommon reagent hazards”, but APPARENTLY the prof was looking for something other than that and I got 0 marks for that section.  The lab prof told me that everybody else put that the glassware could break and I almost replied “Ya, well a bomb could have gone off, but nobody included that, now did they?”  Additionally, pieces of glassware are not reagents. Luckily, I held my tongue, because like I said, my marks depend on this person so I behave better around profs.  Unless I’m talking to an Art prof.  Those profs get my unfiltered sarcasm because they will dish out some of their own sarcastic remarks.  For example, my Drawing 1 prof glanced over my shoulder at a contour drawing I was doing from a still life and because I had drew this one stick with very thick lines in red conté he said “you do realize you’re telling me this stick is the most important thing in the drawing, right?”

To which, I replied: “Depends how you think about the stick; it could be a magic stick.”

He laughed but then continue to tell me I still shouldn’t make the stick the main focus.  Unfortunately, it’s impossible to erase conté, so he was basically telling me that I should redo the picture.

On another note, I had to meet up with the other people in my Transition Metals class last night, so naturally we all got talking about life in general.  Now, normally in Trans Metals, I feel like a retard because I’m usually the one who answer’s the prof’s questions to the class of 4 students, and I usually get them wrong.  However, as we were talking the other girls admitted they all feel like retards too, so it made me feel better about myself.  Also I had planned the class’s Lab schedule for the next 4 weeks and the prof had told us “plan it HOWEVER YOU WANT” so I planned it, and we submitted it to her early (she didn’t say anything like “you should revise this plan” at that point) but when prof got to the lab she was all like “Yah, you planned it all wrong/backwards.”  So naturally, I felt like I had screwed all four of us from the start of this experiment, however apparently the other girls in my class were kind of pissed that the prof told us we had done it “wrong” when she had said before that it supposedly didn’t matter how we planned it.  Plus they all agreed that my plan had totally made sense.  So that was nice of them.

I hope everyone else is doing good in their first month of school.  I found this website for listening to music when I’m sick of my iTunes library, so if anyone else wants to use it, go right ahead!


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